before it's too late for you.

We all live in our respective bubbles, we never realize how we all ultimately connect, and how silly and one tracked our feeble minds are, we live and dream inside our isolated well honed boundaries, and woe be unto any who attempts to break through the status quo, …

in one week,

I realized I'm in love with a woman I want to marry more than anything, lost a friend who could have been more than just a friend to a meaningless car accident, almost on the same day I proposed, see my life long buddy fight his fears, man up, and get married to the woman he loves, see my best friend tear her heart apart with her own hands, just because she's too afraid to be loved, listen to my parents rant on and on, about how life sucks, and how hopeless everything is, my arch friend is as usual being a creep about anything that smacks him as emotional, another friend will not take a damned move in her life, because she cant make up her mind what is what, another dear friend took a decision that is decisive and to the point, another kid I like is off somewhere doing well, when he didn't expect it, while another kid is still whirling about in self doubt and recanting a self made mantra that “he can”, …
I care deeply about each and every one of these people, and each is a beautiful, if at times quirky, presence in my life, and I wonder from time to time if they even see the threads that connect them to one another, and how fragile their lives really is, and how beautiful they all are,
and here I am, watching them do stuff, and making up stories to fill in the gaps, while my life takes it's tumbling quirky path, …
you know what, …
it is all connected,
just look up.

R.I.P. Dalia Anna Nabiel, you were a beautiful woman, and a wonderful person, and you deserved better from me.

a perfect conversation,

She storms into the room,
I pause,
she calmly informs me of nothing,
I nod and thank her for that,
she screams her fears, almost crying,
I ask her why,
her heart explodes with agony,
she blames me for everything,
I ask her again,
she turns around,
slams the door behind here,
and I thank her for that,
I resume.

and a child shall lead them ...

something about a baby's smile just puts things into perspective for me, the way they look at the world with that unfocused gaze, and suddenly smile, just drives home the point for me,
it's not about the now, the now is too much of a mess to really do anything with it but move on,
and if the now is so transient, then the past entirely looses significance, and much of it's weight,
the past also becomes the womb of which we had just left behind, still a little too close for close examination,
the future is what remains,
ah yes,
the future,
as vague as it might be, only babies seem to see it with those unfocused eyes, and what they see makes them smile, and that is a hopeful sign,
if it makes a baby smile, it just can't be bad,
and if the present is this transient, and the past too close, well ...
it only leaves the future open,
maybe with a little less focus on our worries, insecurities, and fears,
maybe we too can smile.

thank you, Maryam Akram Ghalib Bikzadeh (my long time accomplice's little girl and my God Daughter :D )
even if you might not know it, you have made my day with that smile, i hope that one day, you might teach us things, and thingies ... and thingie thing thingies ...

on the origin of species

We dream,
we hope,
we fear,
we lie,
we rage, then we act,
we believe,
we connect,
we don't understand,
we project,
we expect, yet get hung on fact,
we talk,
we walk,
we love,
we don't communicate,
we react, and hardly ever interact,
we hurt,
we bleed,
we hate,
we avenge,
we take revenge, with disregard to who is being attacked,
we watch,
we learn,
we sow,
we reap,
we assume, and we never wonder if we are, actually intact.

" I'm enjoying this too much...."

Uncomfortable at start

I am a fortress,
black, solid, unbroken basalt,
cloaked in shrouds of gray,
foreboding, menacing,
encroaching, solemn and threatening,
I am a testament,
to those who built me,
caused me, shaped me,
and built me to stay,
to the years that had been my refinement,
not merely my past,
Those who dwell inside me,
by force, by habit, or for mere safety,
must calculate, must wait, and never sway,
must not only hold my walls,
but also believe in them, mend them,
and shore them,
You,
must walk my labyrinthine paths,
must guard my gates,
and at the ready array,
must keep the vigil, watch the fields,
and hold no lie,

only then, might the inner hearth be revealed,
a warm fire will be lit,
you will find a chair that would fit,
and in there you would reside,
ultimately hide,
and in you this mighty fortress would confide.

28th April 2009

you're scaring the kids

Hate is a natural human emotion, we all experience it at one time or the other, this time, you can express your anger in a less destructive manner, or at least in a least time consuming ways, this time when you are angry, print and send an un-greeted card to the offender,

the whole collection in a press ready PDF file.

more, or less ...

Never dissapoint a lady