again, and again...

I was happy,

I didn't care much about what the world did to me,

I dreamed what I wanted, and went out there and got it,

it was always out there for me to take,

I didn't care much if you agreed or not,

I didn't care much if I was acceptable or not,

I didn't bother with trying to understand how you felt,

I only cared about what I felt,

I saw my goals and I took them,

without permission,

without regret,

without remorse,

maybe a little frustration,

maybe lots of shouting and banging on stupid walls,

but I got my way,

and yes, I was happy,

and then one day,

a woman came along,

hell! Too many women came along!

I was happy enough to want to share my happiness,

I longed to share that happiness with you,

and that was my fatal mistake,

it's been down hill ever since,

I was wrong to let you in,

I was wrong to expect much from you,

I was wrong to hold on, when you didn't deserve it,

I should have been as self centered as you,

as idiotic, hateful, as grudge pampering as you,

too bad I can't be anything like that,

even if I tried,

and boy was I forced to try,

something inside me always rebelled against being this stupid,

and that better part of me wins,

again,

and again...

:)