Thursday, October 07, 2010

again, and again...

I was happy,
I didn't care much about what the world did to me,
I dreamed what I wanted, and went out there and got it,
it was always out there for me to take,
I didn't care much if you agreed or not,
I didn't care much if I was acceptable or not,
I didn't bother with trying to understand how you felt,
I only cared about what I felt,
I saw my goals and I took them,
without permission,
without regret,
without remorse,
maybe a little frustration,
maybe lots of shouting and banging on stupid walls,
but I got my way,
and yes, I was happy,
and then one day,
a woman came along,
hell! Too many women came along!
I was happy enough to want to share my happiness,
I longed to share that happiness with you,
and that was my fatal mistake,
it's been down hill ever since,

I was wrong to let you in,
I was wrong to expect much from you,
I was wrong to hold on, when you didn't deserve it,
I should have been as self centered as you,
as idiotic, hateful, as grudge pampering as you,
too bad I can't be anything like that,
even if I tried,
and boy was I forced to try,
something inside me always rebelled against being this stupid,
and that better part of me wins,
and again...

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